Life as I know it...

In response to:My first post...

2005-05-25T12:40:25+02:00

Thank you for your invite! And am v pleased to accept!!

Take care,
x
C

In response to:My first post...

2005-05-24T23:41:37+02:00

Ouch! (to the card thing) Not nice.

I have/ had the same problem. The thing is he outwardly and obviously adores YOU! It's YOU, he's with, YOU he cares about and possibly more!!! It's exciting and wonderful!

I have a hard time believing with my own situation.

I recently saw the exact similar with someone else (yes, a third couple!) whose boyfriend forbid his girlfriend to see most of her friends when any of her previous boyfriends were there.

My view is that that was ridiculous, she should be able to see who she wants, and he should be able to trust her. If he doesn't take the risk, he doesn't get the reward! If the door still is open with an ex, then all you can do is trust your partner. In your case, if something happens - it's his loss. And it wasn't meant to have been. BE PHILOSOPHICAL! TAKE THE RISK!

If there was something going on he'd be more likely to hide it from you. He's probably simply doing it as she's lonely and he has caring feelings for her. Which is fine!! As long as it's not anything else, which I believe it isn't! Really, don't worry. He's doing it openly and honestly, plus you're talking which is great!

I mean the card thing depends on so many factors like how they broke up, who broke up with the other, why, was it amicable, difficult, easy???

I just think go with the flow!!!

I hope that makes sense!!

From C (who is also very much in love with her boyfriend too!!)

In response to:My first post...

2005-05-24T20:59:49+02:00

Thanks Charlotte, it's nice to get someone else's perspective on this too. And for the record no that wasn't too blunt, I would have thought it myself if it wasn't for the other factors.

I see him pretty much everyday, and most of the time its him that wants to see me. It did crop up in our conversation yesterday, that we see eachother a lot. Spidey said that that was the reason he hadnt stopped to think about his feeling about us. Obviously I did ask if he wanted us to see less of eachother, and he protested at the thought of it.

Also nothing else has changed, he's still as affectionate and romantic as he was before. He still seems to be making plans for us later in the year and things. Which is good in that it suggests he still see's us being together in the future. So maybe you were right with scenario one.

One major factor completely skipped over here is his ex-girlfriend. Noone porbably saw that one coming. She's still around as a friend. Although she lives away from us, so he doesn't see her us such. When we were first together I didn't know about her. About a month or so into our relationship I discovered her existance.

Now you probably are all thinking that's not so bad...she's an ex for a reason. But they have this bond (well I'm not sure thats the right word but thats the best way I know how to describe it). How would you feel if your boyfriend sent his ex girlfriend a valentines card? Of course I did ask why (without trying to make it an issue - I know slagging off ex's won't get me anywhere but lonely). He said he just always had and he wanted her to have something to open.

I know that was early on but it breaks my heart thinking about it. How can he love me ever if he still has that with her? I know for certain there is nothing more going on. They broke up because they were going in two different directions and they weren't happy together. Or something along those line. I never had the full story about how long they were together or anything. But it hurts.

Is that stupid? More brutal honesty called for her please guys!

In response to:My first post...

2005-05-24T20:38:10+02:00

I've got 2 scenario's to this dilemma. I may not have the full story (I can only go by what you have written) And one of them is really blunt, so I apologise in advance as I don't want to cause offense or hurt anyone's feelings.

1) I think it really depends on the person (the 'i love you' thing)and when they're ready to launch into saying intimate deeply important stuff like that. It could just be a case of when he's ready, he will.

Or scenario 2; he doesn't want a committed relationship. And you do. If so, do you really want to continue going out with him, if there's no full life embracing future in it?

That's it, I hope I wasn't too blunt. And i hope he didn't hurt your feelings too much.

Take care,

C